What Choice Am I Making Right Now?
Photo by Jennifer Lockhart
Being a student of Naropa University (a Buddhist based school), I am very familiar with the idea of meditation and the practice of being mindful in the moment. I learned to let go of thoughts like watching a leaf float down a river...though somedays it was a full tree going by depending on the state of my mind.
The idea of mindfulness has become a very popular topic, and THAT is a wonderful thing for humanity in general, because it is allowing us to learn how to be present in the moment we are currently in. This means accepting what we see, feel, taste, hear and touch without description or analyzation. When a thought does come up, we have a chance to notice what it is, and then the choice to let it go...or let it take us for a ride.
This is a key point.
Consider a past moment that you've ruminated about and really wished you could change. What was said or done in that moment may have felt like an uncontrolled reaction at the time.
What if in that moment you had been able to slow time down to a crawl? You might actually have had a chance to catch the thought that popped into your head right before it triggered your emotional response.
Right now, while you are utilizing the beauty of hindsight to capture that thought, try to imagine what might have happened if you could have chosen a different one. Such as, "I wonder if my interpretation of what just happened is correct?" or "Am I making an assumption about what is being said here?"
How might that moment of curiosity changed the outcome?
Now, coming back to where you are, right now as you are reading this article, take what you learned from that moment of reflection and let the remaining self judgment of the old situation flow down the river. It's time to accept what happened is done, find compassion for yourself and move forward.
That kernel of knowledge you just (hopefully) gleaned is yours, and with it you have an opportunity to make a different choice in the future if faced with a similar situation.
Using this exercise as an example, we can begin to see how many millions of choices we make each day without conscious awareness. We react to stimulus in our environment and even from within ourselves all day long, and most often we reach for our habitual response that we've always reached for to answer that stimulus.
By having a meditation practice, we are creating awareness of not only our thoughts, but giving ourselves the opportunity to choose what to do with them. This practice supports us in those times when we need it most. How amazing would it be to find ourselves in a challenging situation and be able to pick this thought:
"What choice do I want to make right now?"
We have that second to choose between fear or fearlessness, inaction or action, anger or love, to yell or to find compassion... We have the opportunity to be who we want to be in this moment. We don’t have to be at odds with ourselves, we can be more aware of who we are and what choices we WANT to make.
As a personal empowerment and self worth coach, I support you as you work to figure out the choices you want to make in these moments. It is so easy to get caught up in who you think everyone else wants you to be, or who you think you should be in order to be accepted, or loved.
For perfectionists and people pleasers, it can be an additional challenge to recognize those moments when we're abandoning ourselves in order to keep the peace or reach the end goal, but it's not impossible. Meditation, journaling, setting aside time to just BE yourself, are all ways to gain a deeper understanding of what you want. Then know you can choose to act on it.
#maketime #selfworth #perfectionism #peoplepleasing #meditation
My name is Jennifer Lockhart, ACC, ELI-MP, and I coach women over 40 who are ready to find and embrace their #selfworth and increase their #joy 💃
